I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
