she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
