let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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