Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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