her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
