so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
