so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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