Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
