Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize