Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
