he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
