Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
