sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
COCAINE IS GR8
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
