I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
