names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
