I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
