why didn't you poke me back
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
