Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
