no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
