I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
