this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
