My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
There r osticjed everywhere
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
