You smell like a Billy Joel song
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Everclear isn't food dammit
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