I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
