She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
