you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Randomize
