My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he shaved USA in his pubs
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
