Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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