I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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