I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
