I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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