Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
