i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
