Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Randomize
