It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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