i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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