i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
