well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
