why do cheetos always look like penises
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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