We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Farmville is her only friend.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
