I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
