I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
