Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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