My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
