He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
