There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
