At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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