If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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