did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
