We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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